User-agent: Mediapartners-Google* Marriage Problems Save Your Marriage Save Your Marriage | Marriage Problems: June 2011

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Family and Marriage Therapy Programs

If you are searching for a low cost alternative to expensive marriage therapy from a private professional, you may prefer to look to see if any local colleges or universities in your area offer family or marriage therapy programs.

Therapy can be very costly when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples don’t have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.

These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.

The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.

Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.

Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.

If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you don’t think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years. Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isn’t it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.

For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Sexless Marriage

In a recent survey in the United State , almost 20 million couples have a sexless marriage. Relationship experts define this kind of marriage as one in which the couple engages in sexual intimacy for less than ten times in a year. For some couples, that type of situation may actually suit them just fine, but for the majority, it is a problem, and a very serious one.

Sex is a very important part of marriage, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise, is foolish. When a marriage is devoid of sexual intimacy, it can stir some challenging emotions for one or both partners. Frustration, anger, bitterness, resentment, and sadness are some of those emotions. Also, a sexless marriage is particularly vulnerable to infidelity, and ultimately, divorce.

If you are living in a sexless marriage, following are some of the reasons it may be happening. If you can determine the underlying issue (assuming you don’t know what it is) then you can work towards finding a solution.

For men, there are a variety of reasons why they have either lost interest in sex itself or lost desire for their wife. Some of the most reasons why men are the ones creating a sexless marriage are:

• His wife doesn’t like to be adventurous when it comes to sex
• His wife doesn’t really enjoy having sex
• His wife doesn’t turn him on – he is no longer attracted to her
• His wife has gained a lot of weight
• He has erectile dysfunction
• He is involved in an affair
• He’s bored in the relationship

For women, some of the problems are similar, but there are often some different reasons they may be creating a sexless marriage as well:

• Her husband treats her like an object – to her, sex feels like it is all about him
• She likes more traditional sex; he wants to do things she’s not comfortable with
• Her husband has let himself go and she is no longer attracted to him
• She’s angry at her husband
• She’s depressed
• She has a difficult time reaching orgasm

There are many other reasons for both men and women, but those are just a few that are often reported.

So what are some things you can do if you have found yourself co-existing with your spouse in a sexless marriage?

First, it is imperative that you open up the lines of communication. Not talking about it is like ignoring the very large elephant in the room in most cases. Continuing to ignore it or tiptoe around it is only going to result in the two of you growing further apart over time.

Sex is a powerful way to connect with each other, but particularly for men. While women are generally more comfortable talking about their feelings and expressing love in a variety of ways, many men show love and affection via sex. If yours is a sexless marriage, that connection is likely to wane, if not disappear altogether. Talking is very important to address the issue as well as to determine the best course of action to take.

Second, as you talk, determine in what ways each of you can compromise so that the relationship is sexually satisfying to both of you. If the problem, for example, is that one of you is much more adventurous than the other, perhaps you can find some middle ground which is mutually satisfying to both of you.

Third, if anger, bitterness or resentment is resulting in a sexless marriage, you must both be willing to get to the bottom of that issue and work through it. It may be that you need a therapist to help you, but one way or the other, letting go of angry or hurt feelings is vital to getting your marriage back on track. True intimacy cannot occur when hostility is present. The sooner you can forgive and let go, the sooner you can begin to have an emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship.

For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Does Marriage Counseling Work

In case that you and your spouse are going through a hard or difficult time in your marriage, you may be thinking about marital therapy.  But you also may be hesitate to pursue it if you are wondering, does marriage counseling really work?  Well, there is no definitive answer to that as the success of any type of counseling always depends on many different factors and causes.  Many couples do find it to be very beneficial to their relationship.  Others feel it was useless or helped very little.  This article explores some of the factors that are necessary to answer “yes” to the question, “Does marriage counseling work?”.

You both are committed to working on the relationship

An essential factor for any type of therapy or counseling to be effective is that the person receiving it must be committed to the process and to improving the situation.  For couples, if only one of you is committed to working through your relationship problems while the other is resistant, the answer to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is more than likely going to be “no”. 

Counseling is a collaborative process between the client and the therapist.  The greatest marriage counselor on the planet is going to have limited success with someone who has no desire to truly work on the relationship.  It has to be a two way street. Sometimes resistance to the therapy process can be overcome, particularly with an exceptionally experienced and skilled therapist, but it will be very difficult. 

You have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable

Another key factor with regards to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is whether or not you have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable.  No therapist is a good fit for everyone.  If this is the case, you and your spouse would be better off to find a different therapist to work with.  Too much is at stake to try to force a therapeutic relationship that doesn’t feel right for both of you. 

You are both willing to do the work

Talking in and of itself will only go so far in terms of bringing about the desired changes in your relationship.  While it can be helpful to have a safe place to discuss your feelings and concerns, there needs to be more.  Many therapists will give you exercises or homework to do between sessions.  These exercises help to reinforce what you are learning in therapy and give you an opportunity to practice new skills which you can discuss each week. The more you and your spouse participate and do the work, the more likely the answer to your question, “does marriage counseling work?” will be yes. 

Sticking with it and tolerating the pain

Two other very crucial elements in terms of the question, “does marriage counseling work” are:

•    You stick with it
•    You are willing to tolerate things getting worse before they get better

A lot of people drop out of counseling at some point.  They get discouraged or don’t like the process and assume the answer to, “does marriage counseling work?” is “no”. 

One of the main reasons people drop out is because things often get worse before they improve.  A good therapist will prepare you for this upfront.  Marriage counseling is going to open up some wounds and address some painful issues.  Initially, that can seem to create even more pain.  But it is akin to the necessity of cleaning out an infected wound so it can finally heal.  The cleaning process is painful, but it must happen or the wound will never go away. 

If each of these factors is present for you and your spouse, then the answer to the question, “does marriage counseling work?”, is very often a resounding yes.  It is not going to be easy, and it may be a lengthy process.  But if you really want your marriage to be healthy and strong, the rewards are definitely worth it!

For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage