If you are searching for a low cost alternative to expensive marriage therapy from a private professional, you may prefer to look to see if any local colleges or universities in your area offer family or marriage therapy programs.
Therapy can be very costly when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples don’t have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.
These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.
The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.
Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.
Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.
If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you don’t think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years. Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isn’t it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.
For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Sexless Marriage
In a recent survey in the United State , almost 20 million couples have a sexless marriage. Relationship experts define this kind of marriage as one in which the couple engages in sexual intimacy for less than ten times in a year. For some couples, that type of situation may actually suit them just fine, but for the majority, it is a problem, and a very serious one.
Sex is a very important part of marriage, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise, is foolish. When a marriage is devoid of sexual intimacy, it can stir some challenging emotions for one or both partners. Frustration, anger, bitterness, resentment, and sadness are some of those emotions. Also, a sexless marriage is particularly vulnerable to infidelity, and ultimately, divorce.
If you are living in a sexless marriage, following are some of the reasons it may be happening. If you can determine the underlying issue (assuming you don’t know what it is) then you can work towards finding a solution.
For men, there are a variety of reasons why they have either lost interest in sex itself or lost desire for their wife. Some of the most reasons why men are the ones creating a sexless marriage are:
• His wife doesn’t like to be adventurous when it comes to sex
• His wife doesn’t really enjoy having sex
• His wife doesn’t turn him on – he is no longer attracted to her
• His wife has gained a lot of weight
• He has erectile dysfunction
• He is involved in an affair
• He’s bored in the relationship
For women, some of the problems are similar, but there are often some different reasons they may be creating a sexless marriage as well:
• Her husband treats her like an object – to her, sex feels like it is all about him
• She likes more traditional sex; he wants to do things she’s not comfortable with
• Her husband has let himself go and she is no longer attracted to him
• She’s angry at her husband
• She’s depressed
• She has a difficult time reaching orgasm
There are many other reasons for both men and women, but those are just a few that are often reported.
So what are some things you can do if you have found yourself co-existing with your spouse in a sexless marriage?
First, it is imperative that you open up the lines of communication. Not talking about it is like ignoring the very large elephant in the room in most cases. Continuing to ignore it or tiptoe around it is only going to result in the two of you growing further apart over time.
Sex is a powerful way to connect with each other, but particularly for men. While women are generally more comfortable talking about their feelings and expressing love in a variety of ways, many men show love and affection via sex. If yours is a sexless marriage, that connection is likely to wane, if not disappear altogether. Talking is very important to address the issue as well as to determine the best course of action to take.
Second, as you talk, determine in what ways each of you can compromise so that the relationship is sexually satisfying to both of you. If the problem, for example, is that one of you is much more adventurous than the other, perhaps you can find some middle ground which is mutually satisfying to both of you.
Third, if anger, bitterness or resentment is resulting in a sexless marriage, you must both be willing to get to the bottom of that issue and work through it. It may be that you need a therapist to help you, but one way or the other, letting go of angry or hurt feelings is vital to getting your marriage back on track. True intimacy cannot occur when hostility is present. The sooner you can forgive and let go, the sooner you can begin to have an emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship.
For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage
Sex is a very important part of marriage, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise, is foolish. When a marriage is devoid of sexual intimacy, it can stir some challenging emotions for one or both partners. Frustration, anger, bitterness, resentment, and sadness are some of those emotions. Also, a sexless marriage is particularly vulnerable to infidelity, and ultimately, divorce.
If you are living in a sexless marriage, following are some of the reasons it may be happening. If you can determine the underlying issue (assuming you don’t know what it is) then you can work towards finding a solution.
For men, there are a variety of reasons why they have either lost interest in sex itself or lost desire for their wife. Some of the most reasons why men are the ones creating a sexless marriage are:
• His wife doesn’t like to be adventurous when it comes to sex
• His wife doesn’t really enjoy having sex
• His wife doesn’t turn him on – he is no longer attracted to her
• His wife has gained a lot of weight
• He has erectile dysfunction
• He is involved in an affair
• He’s bored in the relationship
For women, some of the problems are similar, but there are often some different reasons they may be creating a sexless marriage as well:
• Her husband treats her like an object – to her, sex feels like it is all about him
• She likes more traditional sex; he wants to do things she’s not comfortable with
• Her husband has let himself go and she is no longer attracted to him
• She’s angry at her husband
• She’s depressed
• She has a difficult time reaching orgasm
There are many other reasons for both men and women, but those are just a few that are often reported.
So what are some things you can do if you have found yourself co-existing with your spouse in a sexless marriage?
First, it is imperative that you open up the lines of communication. Not talking about it is like ignoring the very large elephant in the room in most cases. Continuing to ignore it or tiptoe around it is only going to result in the two of you growing further apart over time.
Sex is a powerful way to connect with each other, but particularly for men. While women are generally more comfortable talking about their feelings and expressing love in a variety of ways, many men show love and affection via sex. If yours is a sexless marriage, that connection is likely to wane, if not disappear altogether. Talking is very important to address the issue as well as to determine the best course of action to take.
Second, as you talk, determine in what ways each of you can compromise so that the relationship is sexually satisfying to both of you. If the problem, for example, is that one of you is much more adventurous than the other, perhaps you can find some middle ground which is mutually satisfying to both of you.
Third, if anger, bitterness or resentment is resulting in a sexless marriage, you must both be willing to get to the bottom of that issue and work through it. It may be that you need a therapist to help you, but one way or the other, letting go of angry or hurt feelings is vital to getting your marriage back on track. True intimacy cannot occur when hostility is present. The sooner you can forgive and let go, the sooner you can begin to have an emotionally and sexually fulfilling relationship.
For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Does Marriage Counseling Work
In case that you and your spouse are going through a hard or difficult time in your marriage, you may be thinking about marital therapy. But you also may be hesitate to pursue it if you are wondering, does marriage counseling really work? Well, there is no definitive answer to that as the success of any type of counseling always depends on many different factors and causes. Many couples do find it to be very beneficial to their relationship. Others feel it was useless or helped very little. This article explores some of the factors that are necessary to answer “yes” to the question, “Does marriage counseling work?”.
You both are committed to working on the relationship
An essential factor for any type of therapy or counseling to be effective is that the person receiving it must be committed to the process and to improving the situation. For couples, if only one of you is committed to working through your relationship problems while the other is resistant, the answer to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is more than likely going to be “no”.
Counseling is a collaborative process between the client and the therapist. The greatest marriage counselor on the planet is going to have limited success with someone who has no desire to truly work on the relationship. It has to be a two way street. Sometimes resistance to the therapy process can be overcome, particularly with an exceptionally experienced and skilled therapist, but it will be very difficult.
You have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable
Another key factor with regards to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is whether or not you have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable. No therapist is a good fit for everyone. If this is the case, you and your spouse would be better off to find a different therapist to work with. Too much is at stake to try to force a therapeutic relationship that doesn’t feel right for both of you.
You are both willing to do the work
Talking in and of itself will only go so far in terms of bringing about the desired changes in your relationship. While it can be helpful to have a safe place to discuss your feelings and concerns, there needs to be more. Many therapists will give you exercises or homework to do between sessions. These exercises help to reinforce what you are learning in therapy and give you an opportunity to practice new skills which you can discuss each week. The more you and your spouse participate and do the work, the more likely the answer to your question, “does marriage counseling work?” will be yes.
Sticking with it and tolerating the pain
Two other very crucial elements in terms of the question, “does marriage counseling work” are:
• You stick with it
• You are willing to tolerate things getting worse before they get better
A lot of people drop out of counseling at some point. They get discouraged or don’t like the process and assume the answer to, “does marriage counseling work?” is “no”.
One of the main reasons people drop out is because things often get worse before they improve. A good therapist will prepare you for this upfront. Marriage counseling is going to open up some wounds and address some painful issues. Initially, that can seem to create even more pain. But it is akin to the necessity of cleaning out an infected wound so it can finally heal. The cleaning process is painful, but it must happen or the wound will never go away.
If each of these factors is present for you and your spouse, then the answer to the question, “does marriage counseling work?”, is very often a resounding yes. It is not going to be easy, and it may be a lengthy process. But if you really want your marriage to be healthy and strong, the rewards are definitely worth it!
For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage
You both are committed to working on the relationship
An essential factor for any type of therapy or counseling to be effective is that the person receiving it must be committed to the process and to improving the situation. For couples, if only one of you is committed to working through your relationship problems while the other is resistant, the answer to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is more than likely going to be “no”.
Counseling is a collaborative process between the client and the therapist. The greatest marriage counselor on the planet is going to have limited success with someone who has no desire to truly work on the relationship. It has to be a two way street. Sometimes resistance to the therapy process can be overcome, particularly with an exceptionally experienced and skilled therapist, but it will be very difficult.
You have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable
Another key factor with regards to the question, “does marriage counseling work?” is whether or not you have a counselor with whom you both feel comfortable. No therapist is a good fit for everyone. If this is the case, you and your spouse would be better off to find a different therapist to work with. Too much is at stake to try to force a therapeutic relationship that doesn’t feel right for both of you.
You are both willing to do the work
Talking in and of itself will only go so far in terms of bringing about the desired changes in your relationship. While it can be helpful to have a safe place to discuss your feelings and concerns, there needs to be more. Many therapists will give you exercises or homework to do between sessions. These exercises help to reinforce what you are learning in therapy and give you an opportunity to practice new skills which you can discuss each week. The more you and your spouse participate and do the work, the more likely the answer to your question, “does marriage counseling work?” will be yes.
Sticking with it and tolerating the pain
Two other very crucial elements in terms of the question, “does marriage counseling work” are:
• You stick with it
• You are willing to tolerate things getting worse before they get better
A lot of people drop out of counseling at some point. They get discouraged or don’t like the process and assume the answer to, “does marriage counseling work?” is “no”.
One of the main reasons people drop out is because things often get worse before they improve. A good therapist will prepare you for this upfront. Marriage counseling is going to open up some wounds and address some painful issues. Initially, that can seem to create even more pain. But it is akin to the necessity of cleaning out an infected wound so it can finally heal. The cleaning process is painful, but it must happen or the wound will never go away.
If each of these factors is present for you and your spouse, then the answer to the question, “does marriage counseling work?”, is very often a resounding yes. It is not going to be easy, and it may be a lengthy process. But if you really want your marriage to be healthy and strong, the rewards are definitely worth it!
For more useful information , go here :
Save Your Marriage
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Online Marriage Counseling Free
A lot of couples who are experiencing marriage problems may desperately seek alternative ways to get “professional” help, such as online marriage counseling, whenever the money is tight. Free of charge marriage counseling is very attractive and appealing, but there are many things which should be considered before relying on the vast number of resources you can find online to help your failing marriage and relationship.
When it comes to online marriage counseling, free services ranging from “e-courses” to actual direct email interaction with a therapist may be available depending on the resource. And like anything online, the quality of what you are getting for free (or even for a price) can vary greatly. But if you approach it as a resource similar to purchasing a book on the topic of helping you with marriage problems, then there can be some benefit to be gained.
So let’s look a little further at what you may find in terms of online marriage counseling. Free e-courses, as mentioned above, are often available from various resources. Usually you just sign up for these and they are delivered to your email box. Most of these will be delivered to your email over a period of time. For example, you may receive one “lesson” every few days. This gives you time to digest the information rather than read through the entire course in one sitting. Depending on who wrote them, they may contain some very helpful information and exercises which you can apply to your particular situation. Again, this is similar to using a book as a help guide.
Some sites also offer complete eBooks which you can download to your computer as soon as you sign up. Similar to e-courses, some of these can also give you some good information. Don’t expect them to be as comprehensive or thorough as a book you would purchase at a bookstore. The nature of eBooks is that they are relatively short, usually anywhere from 30 to 100 pages with large font. Ebooks and e-courses are often a primary part of any online marriage counseling. Free resources such as these may be better than nothing when finances are tight.
Where things start to get questionable, in terms of ethics, competence and confidentiality are when individuals or companies claim to offer actual “therapy” via email. With the rapidly growing popularity of the Internet as a primary resource for just about everything, it is no surprise that you can find actual online marriage counseling. Free email interaction with a therapist or counselor is offered by some online sources.
Email, by its very nature, has limited confidentiality. And it may be difficult to verify whether or not the therapist is truly competent or is even actually trained or licensed. This is where you really need to be wary. Also, before you engage in any actual free counseling or therapy via the internet, be sure to do your due diligence to determine if the person has the appropriate credentials and qualifications to be helping you.
These are just a few things to consider if you feel you and your spouse need professional help for your marriage and you are considering online marriage counseling. Free services may be very appealing, but you may not be getting what you think. Use it with caution, if at all. The e-courses and eBooks may have some good food for thought, but if your marriage is in a serious crisis, it is better to find a way to see a local therapist with whom you can interact face to face as you work through the issues in your marriage.
Want to know more ?
Save Your Marriage
When it comes to online marriage counseling, free services ranging from “e-courses” to actual direct email interaction with a therapist may be available depending on the resource. And like anything online, the quality of what you are getting for free (or even for a price) can vary greatly. But if you approach it as a resource similar to purchasing a book on the topic of helping you with marriage problems, then there can be some benefit to be gained.
So let’s look a little further at what you may find in terms of online marriage counseling. Free e-courses, as mentioned above, are often available from various resources. Usually you just sign up for these and they are delivered to your email box. Most of these will be delivered to your email over a period of time. For example, you may receive one “lesson” every few days. This gives you time to digest the information rather than read through the entire course in one sitting. Depending on who wrote them, they may contain some very helpful information and exercises which you can apply to your particular situation. Again, this is similar to using a book as a help guide.
Some sites also offer complete eBooks which you can download to your computer as soon as you sign up. Similar to e-courses, some of these can also give you some good information. Don’t expect them to be as comprehensive or thorough as a book you would purchase at a bookstore. The nature of eBooks is that they are relatively short, usually anywhere from 30 to 100 pages with large font. Ebooks and e-courses are often a primary part of any online marriage counseling. Free resources such as these may be better than nothing when finances are tight.
Where things start to get questionable, in terms of ethics, competence and confidentiality are when individuals or companies claim to offer actual “therapy” via email. With the rapidly growing popularity of the Internet as a primary resource for just about everything, it is no surprise that you can find actual online marriage counseling. Free email interaction with a therapist or counselor is offered by some online sources.
Email, by its very nature, has limited confidentiality. And it may be difficult to verify whether or not the therapist is truly competent or is even actually trained or licensed. This is where you really need to be wary. Also, before you engage in any actual free counseling or therapy via the internet, be sure to do your due diligence to determine if the person has the appropriate credentials and qualifications to be helping you.
These are just a few things to consider if you feel you and your spouse need professional help for your marriage and you are considering online marriage counseling. Free services may be very appealing, but you may not be getting what you think. Use it with caution, if at all. The e-courses and eBooks may have some good food for thought, but if your marriage is in a serious crisis, it is better to find a way to see a local therapist with whom you can interact face to face as you work through the issues in your marriage.
Want to know more ?
Save Your Marriage
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Find Marriage Counselor
It is very uncommon to find married couple who doesn’t experience some crisis or turmoil in their relationship. In case your marriage is going through a challenging time, know that you are surely and definitely not alone. Think about it. Think, whether or not it is time to find marriage counselor in order to help you resolving your marriage problems and find solutions before things get any worse. A lot of couples do seek out professional help because trying to navigate the emotional ups and downs on their own can feel too difficult, overwhelming or really cumbersome.
So how do you decide if it is time to find marriage counselor to help your struggling marriage? Following are some things to consider as to when, as well as how to go about finding the right one for you.
First, if you and your spouse have good communication and have a history of being able to eventually work things out, you may be able to do so again with out the help of therapy. Being able to talk things through without attacking, blaming, or getting overly emotional is a great skill. If this is the case, you may not need to find marriage counselor. Unfortunately though, many couples lack that skill. As they attempt to discuss and work on the issues affecting their marriage, they end up making things worse. Hurtful words can be very difficult to forget once said.
One of the primary goals of marriage therapy is to facilitate open and productive communication. Learning to talk to each other in a manner which is calm, respectful and beneficial to the relationship can make a significant difference in terms of whether or not you are able to get past the current challenges. If the ability to communicate well is clearly lacking in your marriage, especially despite your best efforts, then it is definitely time to find marriage counselor who can help you.
Second, if part of your marital problems are due to one (or both) of you having a mental health issue, such as depression, or if either one of you has an addiction, such as gambling or alcohol, working through your issues alone is not likely to be successful. This is definitely a situation in which you should find marriage counselor to not only work with you, but to help you both understand the impact of the mental health issue or the addiction. Also, the counselor can make treatment recommendations for the spouse with that additional issue.
Third, if after much effort you and your spouse have continued to remain stuck in whatever problems have been afflicting your marriage, it is time to find marriage counselor to help you get unstuck. Sometimes when we are in an emotionally charged situation it is very difficult if not impossible to maintain any type of perspective or objectivity. A good marriage counselor can help you do this, which will in turn help you begin to make process rather than continue to stay stuck.
Last of all, if your relationship has become extremely emotionally volatile, it is unlikely you are going to make progress on your own. In fact, the situation will likely escalate until it completely tears your apart. This is definitely another indicator that to find marriage counselor is one of the best things you can do if you hope to keep your marriage intact and learn ways to manage the extreme emotions one or both of you are battling.
Want to know more ?
Save Your Marriage
So how do you decide if it is time to find marriage counselor to help your struggling marriage? Following are some things to consider as to when, as well as how to go about finding the right one for you.
First, if you and your spouse have good communication and have a history of being able to eventually work things out, you may be able to do so again with out the help of therapy. Being able to talk things through without attacking, blaming, or getting overly emotional is a great skill. If this is the case, you may not need to find marriage counselor. Unfortunately though, many couples lack that skill. As they attempt to discuss and work on the issues affecting their marriage, they end up making things worse. Hurtful words can be very difficult to forget once said.
One of the primary goals of marriage therapy is to facilitate open and productive communication. Learning to talk to each other in a manner which is calm, respectful and beneficial to the relationship can make a significant difference in terms of whether or not you are able to get past the current challenges. If the ability to communicate well is clearly lacking in your marriage, especially despite your best efforts, then it is definitely time to find marriage counselor who can help you.
Second, if part of your marital problems are due to one (or both) of you having a mental health issue, such as depression, or if either one of you has an addiction, such as gambling or alcohol, working through your issues alone is not likely to be successful. This is definitely a situation in which you should find marriage counselor to not only work with you, but to help you both understand the impact of the mental health issue or the addiction. Also, the counselor can make treatment recommendations for the spouse with that additional issue.
Third, if after much effort you and your spouse have continued to remain stuck in whatever problems have been afflicting your marriage, it is time to find marriage counselor to help you get unstuck. Sometimes when we are in an emotionally charged situation it is very difficult if not impossible to maintain any type of perspective or objectivity. A good marriage counselor can help you do this, which will in turn help you begin to make process rather than continue to stay stuck.
Last of all, if your relationship has become extremely emotionally volatile, it is unlikely you are going to make progress on your own. In fact, the situation will likely escalate until it completely tears your apart. This is definitely another indicator that to find marriage counselor is one of the best things you can do if you hope to keep your marriage intact and learn ways to manage the extreme emotions one or both of you are battling.
Want to know more ?
Save Your Marriage
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Marriage and Family Counseling
In case you are having some difficulties or problems in your marriage, or perhaps your family is in crisis, marriage and family counseling can be very helpful and beneficial. While it may at the beginning seem a bit unpleasant and uncomfortable to discuss your marital problems with a total stranger, if you find a therapist which is a good fit and is good at what he or she does, you will very likely be glad you decided to make the investment.
Keep in mind, though, that for marriage and family counseling to be helpful, you have to be willing to make some changes in your life. It won’t be helpful if you merely use it as a place to vent or if you expect the therapist to do all of the work for you. Nor will it be helpful unless you each take responsibility for your contribution to the problem or issue at hand, because rarely is a problem entirely due to one person.
Following are some of the many ways in which marriage and family counseling can help, if you are ready and willing to do some work.
Improve communication
Poor communication or lack of communication is often at the core of most marital problems, as well as family problems. We all grew up learning ways to communicate, but we didn’t necessarily learn to do it effectively. When things are going well, talking is easy. But the true test of good communication is when there is conflict.
In marriage and family counseling, the therapist can help you find ways to communicate better with each other. This not only includes learning how to better express things such as needs, wants, or concerns, but also how to better listen to each other. Conflict is normal whenever two or more people live in the same household.
Unfortunately a lot of couples and families do not handle conflict well, and even relatively minor problems can quickly escalate. As a result they become seemingly insurmountable issues when communication completely breaks down or becomes hostile. Improving communication is the core of dealing effectively with all other issues.
Learn to choose your battles
Marriage and family counseling can also really help you learn to choose your battles. Life is going to be full of stressful and irritating things. That’s normal. But where many couples and families get into trouble is when they let everything become a huge ordeal. A good therapist can help you determine what the real issues are, while helping your learn to recognize which ones really aren’t a big deal. Learning this will go a long way towards a more peaceful home environment.
Create new patterns of interaction
As humans, we are creatures of habit. As a result we get into patterns of interacting with our spouse and family members which can be unhealthy. At times, they can even be destructive and hurtful. Sometimes we don’t even realize the damage we are doing until someone objective, such as a therapist, points it out.
Marriage and family counseling is geared towards creating new and healthier ways of interacting with each other. As the saying goes, if you keep doing the same thing you will keep getting the same result. But a skilled therapist can show you better ways to get the desired result in your relationship.
Hopefully you can see how marriage and family counseling might be very beneficial. Every couple and family has occasional struggles. Going to a therapist doesn’t mean you are weak or a failure. Rather, it shows that you recognize the need for change and that you desire some assistance in making that happen.
For further useful advice :
Save Your Marriage
Keep in mind, though, that for marriage and family counseling to be helpful, you have to be willing to make some changes in your life. It won’t be helpful if you merely use it as a place to vent or if you expect the therapist to do all of the work for you. Nor will it be helpful unless you each take responsibility for your contribution to the problem or issue at hand, because rarely is a problem entirely due to one person.
Following are some of the many ways in which marriage and family counseling can help, if you are ready and willing to do some work.
Improve communication
Poor communication or lack of communication is often at the core of most marital problems, as well as family problems. We all grew up learning ways to communicate, but we didn’t necessarily learn to do it effectively. When things are going well, talking is easy. But the true test of good communication is when there is conflict.
In marriage and family counseling, the therapist can help you find ways to communicate better with each other. This not only includes learning how to better express things such as needs, wants, or concerns, but also how to better listen to each other. Conflict is normal whenever two or more people live in the same household.
Unfortunately a lot of couples and families do not handle conflict well, and even relatively minor problems can quickly escalate. As a result they become seemingly insurmountable issues when communication completely breaks down or becomes hostile. Improving communication is the core of dealing effectively with all other issues.
Learn to choose your battles
Marriage and family counseling can also really help you learn to choose your battles. Life is going to be full of stressful and irritating things. That’s normal. But where many couples and families get into trouble is when they let everything become a huge ordeal. A good therapist can help you determine what the real issues are, while helping your learn to recognize which ones really aren’t a big deal. Learning this will go a long way towards a more peaceful home environment.
Create new patterns of interaction
As humans, we are creatures of habit. As a result we get into patterns of interacting with our spouse and family members which can be unhealthy. At times, they can even be destructive and hurtful. Sometimes we don’t even realize the damage we are doing until someone objective, such as a therapist, points it out.
Marriage and family counseling is geared towards creating new and healthier ways of interacting with each other. As the saying goes, if you keep doing the same thing you will keep getting the same result. But a skilled therapist can show you better ways to get the desired result in your relationship.
Hopefully you can see how marriage and family counseling might be very beneficial. Every couple and family has occasional struggles. Going to a therapist doesn’t mean you are weak or a failure. Rather, it shows that you recognize the need for change and that you desire some assistance in making that happen.
For further useful advice :
Save Your Marriage
Monday, May 23, 2011
Counseling for Marriage
A lot of married couples reach a point in their marriage when they feel as though they are at an impasse. They would try to overcome a serious problem or crisis on their own, and realized over time that perhaps getting marriage counseling for their problems they are experiencing is a better alternative. And while counseling might not help every marriage, it does help many couples every so often. For some marriages, it has not only helped, it has kept the couple from ending up in divorce court and separating.
So, how do you determine if marriage counseling is something you and your spouse should pursue? You may be thinking that there is no way you want to air your dirty laundry in front of a total stranger, no matter how difficult things are right now. You may also be feeling that counseling for marriage is far too expensive. This article will address these two frequent concerns and provide you with some things to consider if you are trying to decide whether to seek professional help for your situation.
I don’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems.
This is a common objection with which many people struggle when the idea of counseling for marriage is being considered. What you need to realize is that one of the reasons marital therapy can be very helpful is because the therapist, as a stranger, is in a neutral and objective position.
If you have tried to talk to or seek advice from family or friends, you have probably found that they are too close to the situation to be helpful. They may have an emotional bias which makes it difficult to keep perspective regarding your situation. This in turn will color any advice they may try to offer. In some cases, talking to family members or close friends can make the situation even worse.
This is one reason why counseling for marriage can be very helpful. Once you start developing a rapport with the therapist, you will likely appreciate how safe it actually feels to discuss your problems with someone who isn’t going to take sides and who can look at your situation from a fresh perspective.
Counseling is too expensive.
Therapy does cost money. You are paying for a highly trained professional to provide a valuable service. However, you need to consider how much more expensive getting a divorce will be. For the cost of a divorce, not to mention all the pain and grief that often accompany it, counseling for marriage is usually much less expensive – in fact, often by thousands of dollars. When you look at it like this you may reconsider the objection that you can’t afford it. And there may be some options if finances are truly an issue.
In many cities there are clinics which offer counseling services for a reduced fee either based on income qualifications, or because the therapists are graduate students under supervision. Also, you don’t necessarily have to go weekly. You may be able to go every other week, which will make counseling for marriage more affordable for you as you reduce the overall monthly cost by spreading the appointments out a bit.
Both of these objections to counseling for marriage are very common. You are not alone if they have crossed your mind. But if your marriage has reached a crisis point hopefully you will carefully weigh the alternatives if you do not get some help.
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